No, not my niece's husband--that Greg's a pastor or minister or vicar or priest--what do they call you in the Anglican church? Anyway, say what you will about men of the cloth, but he's not an evil man by any stretch. He's a good guy. And I'm a harsh critic.
Rather, meet Evil Greg. Evil Greg wants to buy an old missile base in eastern Washington to use as his secret lair. I don't know how secret it really could be since it's a public sale--on eBay, for cryin' out loud, and if that doesn't shout evil, I don't know what does.
Doesn't everyone want a little place they could escape to (secret lair)? Wouldn't everyone like some pampering (minions)? Someone to do your dirty work (cleaning toilets) for you (henchmen)?
I don't know Greg's story. Apparently he's a geeky guy who somehow scored a gorgeous wife who understands his need for global domination.
Because I'm 46% evil myself, according to an online quiz, I donated to Greg and spoiled his pouty rant about no one giving him any money.
Want to help Greg become an evil genius with a secret lair? He's just starting out. You could be a Mini-me. Go on.
9 comments:
Awww, gee. My first donation. Now if only 499,999 people donate the same amount, I'll be able to hold my head high while I laugh my evil muahahaha laugh in my very own evil lair.
Guess I gotta make that honorary minion certificate now. Well, I'm off to an interview to become one of Bill Gates' minions, I mean drones, I mean happy agency contractors. I'll work on it when I get home.
I'm 34% evil, in some ways, the most dangerous kind!! And I thought I was a pussy cat.
Crystal xx
I'm like Crystal, 22% evil and "the most dangerous kind."
mwahaha...
Greg, I hope the interview went well. Soon you will be able to laugh at Bill Gates, mwahahaha, because you will have your own lair.
Crystal, don't you wonder what the remaining 66% is? Is it all good? Or are there percentages of indifferent, too? I dunno.
RC, 22%? Are you kidding? And you said you weren't Supermom. My daughter was 32% and she's only 13. I did think that was a rather high number for someone so young, though, and asked her what she's been up to. No answer on that.
Although, as I'm thinking about it, 22% might be on the frightfully high side for someone who is in the business of helping and saving people's lives. Geez--what hospital do you work at? Man, I'm never getting sick in Liberal Collegeville! No way!
Sigh, I just took the evil test, twice. Once with Amy looking on to make sure I wasn't making things up. I was 16% both times which is half that of my teenage daughter. My wife is 2.875 times more evil. How could this have happened? What have I done wrong?
Honey, it's we who have done wrong. You're the one who's OK. You just have really poor taste in the company you keep.
I've told you for 17 years you're nicer than I am. Believe me yet?
Just think how I'd've deteriorated if I'd chosen a partner as evil as myself. You've saved me. I hope I'm worth it.
And think of how much I've corrupted you! Balls--you'd probably have a negative score if it weren't for me.
The whole time I was taking the test I was thinking what does Amy do that makes her 46%? Does she have some sordid past? When I also got a 46%, she was suddenly just in the normal range.
Lisa, I feel in good company. What sweet vindication. You're one of the coolest people I know--and good and nice, despite being evil.
That message to Lisa was actually from me, Amy, not Eric who was still signed in on this computer. If I were truly evil, I'd let everyone believe Eric has it bad for Lisa. But I like you, so I won't.
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