Ditty Day

This poem was printed in our little newspaper. Author unknown. To set the scene, Kelsey is ice skating in the driveway.

Why I Love Wisconsin

It's winter in Wisconsin
And the gentle breezes blow
70 miles per hour
at 52 below.
Oh, how I love Wisconsin
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Wisconsin
Cuz I'm frozen to the ground.


Because today was so warm, we decided to go look for eagles on the river. On the way, we stopped at my mom's to sprinkle some salt on her ice so we could chip it off more easily tomorrow. The ice has gotten so thick you can actually see the different layers and bubbles in it.

It was nice to spend some cazh time with my mom. I was hoping she'd be able to come with us, but it was just too icy. I didn't want her to fall, and she didn't want to, either.

We grabbed my sister's keys while we were there so we could get her mail and check on her cats. She's been out of town for a while. The cats were very happy to see us. We cleaned their very stinky boxes and refilled their food. My sister laid out lots of food, put out two cat boxes, and let the bathroom sink drip. The cat litter is that clumping stuff. Concrete. Not clumps. One of her cats, Carmel, likes to hug you. He wraps his paws around your neck and rubs his drool all over your face. I think we could have pet him all afternoon and he wouldn't have objected.

Instead, we decided to see if the road to Baxter's Hollow was closed. Baxter's Hollow is a nature preserve down the road from my sister's. It was, in fact, closed. We got our car stuck there once in winter. There was a little sign that said "Road closed in winter." Guess they meant it. Now they actually block the road with snow piled about 10 feet high.

As we turned around, we saw five turkeys along the roadside. It was cool to watch them. They were big and hungry and waddly. There was confusion as to whether they were pheasants or turkeys, and Kelsey said, "I'm not a pheasant plucker."

Do we all know this little ditty?

The Pheasant Plucking Song

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son
I'm only plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucker comes.

Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes in an evening I feel a trifle dim
All alone, I'm plucking pheasants, when I'd rather pluck with him.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's mate
I'm only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late!

I'm not good at plucking pheasants, at pheasant plucking I get stuck
Though some pheasants find it pleasant I'd rather pluck a duck.
Oh, plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But pheasant plucking's torture because they haven't any grease.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, he has gone out on the tiles
He only plucked one pheasant and I'm sitting here with piles!

You have to pluck them fresh, if it’s fresh they’re not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable who could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable had pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar on a Sunday ‘tween the first and second lessons.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's mum
I'm only plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant pluckers come.

My good friend Godfrey is most adept, he's really got the knack
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I like to give a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all our pheasant plucking keeps us pair together.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's friend
I'm only plucking pheasants as a means unto an end!

My husband's in the forest always banging with his gun
If he could hear me half the time I'm sure that he would run,
For there's fluff in all my crannies, there's feathers up my nose
And I'm itching in the kitchen from my head down to my toes.

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's wife
And when we pluck together it's a pheasant plucking life!


That kid's going to make some man very happy someday.