Fruity, Booty, Fluty

Fruity

I am writing this post on my new MacBook. Nice. It has that new plastic smell to it. It arrived yesterday. I've been messing around a little, horrifying Eric by putting RealPlayer on it (gasp!). I need RealPlayer. All my limey radio shows download in .ram. Anyway, I can't help but notice my battery door is already swelling. God. It's going to explode in my lap. Thank goodness they're Apple computers – can you imagine having a hot peach between your legs or a hot banana on your thighs?

Fruity and booty

Speaking of exploding, hot bananas, when we were in St. Louis, we went to the zoo, as I mentioned previously. Welp, there was this elephant, see, and he had a schlong that was about two and a half feet long. It did rather get the crowd's attention. But what really got our attention was when he used his penis to scratch the bottom of his foot. I didn't know elephants could use their members in the same way as their trunks. What control! Can you imagine?

Dude was a bit of a show-off, too. He must have been an old circus elephant. He got up on a stump one foot at a time and held his pose. He arranged his trunk for us. What a ham.

Booty

A St. Louis parting shot: I paid our parking fine today. Damn it. The meters were cheap, but only good for 90 minutes, which is simply not enough time for the bridal party on the day of the wedding. I wonder if the church and the police are in cahoots. "Hey, this is Father Frank. Wedding at ten. Come write the tickets. Usual cut." The tickets are only $10, which makes them a mild "Oh, well," instead of a "God damn it!" I bet they get a lot fewer complaints that way. Seems pretty skeezy to me.

Fluty

Kelsey decided she wanted to take flute lessons. Kayleigh had been playing piano for a year and a half by this age, so it seemed fair. I don't know anything about flutes. I could help Kayleigh a bit on piano, but I'm pretty well useless with the flute. Anyway, we talked with a couple of people in the know, then bought a flute off eBay. It arrived today. Kelsey is delighted. She had a fun time trying to get some noise out of it. We have to find a teacher now.