Thursday, May 29, 2008


There's something to be said for compulsive eating.

I'm in the throes of high-fructose corn syrup ecstasy. Warmth and calm spread out from my round, jiggly belly. I'm lightly dizzy, breathing deeply, a little dazed and dopey. Sleepy, I guess, but alert. I am full. It's like an orgasm hangover without the wet.

Monday, May 26, 2008


Ah, warmth and humidity. I couldn't be happier. It's not so muggy that it's uncomfortable, just wet enough to make the heat hotter and my skin rejuvenate after the arid winter.

Kelsey and I spent Saturday morning at the farmers' market, our first of the season. It was fun to wander with the throngs and lie down in the grass and watch people go by.

We spent the afternoon at riding lessons, where she started posting. She was excited, but it tired her little legs out. They told her she did a good job for her first time. I sat in the car and read, occasionally interrupted by a rather foul-mouthed man working on putting up a fence.

The rest of the day was spent at my brother's cottage along the Wisconsin River. My sister-in-law Lee was visiting from Utah, and my nephew Ben came up from Illinois. We were a happy, noisy bunch, which drove my mother crazy. She kept plugging her ears. Lee said she wished Clint were there. He would have enjoyed himself.

Sunday was spent cleaning a bit. It was needed more than a bit.

Today we finished the touch-up painting in the basement. We picked a melted mint ice cream green. I can't remember what they called it. Paint colors always have such crazy names. Kelsey was fantastic helping with the entire job. Her roller had gotten a bit heavy at one point, so there were some blobs that needed attention. That's what we took care of today. I think it will be nice once the carpet is in and the furniture is back. We got indoor/outdoor carpet so that if we flood again, we can vacuum it up easily. Also, it will be wonderfully new carpet, not permeated with decades of filth.

Kayleigh worked on cleaning her room today. My goodness. The deal was if she cleaned her room, Eric would put a computer in there. So, she cleaned her room, then she and Eric worked on transferring files here and there. Unfortunately, the computer that was supposed to go in her room didn't work. She was pretty disappointed. One of Eric's friends came over to try to help after everything Eric tried failed, but it still didn't work. I told her to go mess up her room quick. She was not amused.

We had the first trip to the pool today. It was nice. Warm, breezy, sunny, not a lot of people. Kayleigh stayed home and did homework, but I did homework poolside while Kelsey and Eric swam. Summer school starts tomorrow for me. Four credits in four weeks. Sounds fun and a bit intense.

Friday, May 23, 2008

I think I would have left out the middle initial

With a name like that, it's no wonder he's lashing out. Just read the first sentence.

Now, please, I need your advice! See previous post.

An apology and a ponderance

For whatever reason my addled mind found fitting, I thought once school was over I would catch up with my blog buddies. Not happening. Very sorry. I have caught up on some DVD viewing and some family visiting, though. I watched season two of "Slings and Arrows," recommended by Laurie and seconded by me. Season three just came in yesterday at the library, and if I ever get out of bed, I'll go snatch them off the hold shelf. I also polished off the last two seasons of "Goodnight, Sweetheart." It was good, but I thought it ended rather abruptly. Even if they didn't want to tell us what happened down the line, a little more at the end would have been appreciated.

Seeking your advice:

I could graduate in December if I take two dreadful classes. There is a class I want to take (not required) that conflicts with one of the dreadful ones, both of which are required. The class I want to take is a magazine class. I'm hoping to learn applicable skills in the class.

One of the dreadful classes is offered by a better professor in the spring.

Is it worth it to take a class I want to take and choose a professor who's more interesting but postpone graduation by a semester?

Or should I get out of school and into the job market and learn on the job?

Bear in mind my advanced age and advanced credits: I will have to pay double tuition. Does another semester really matter after all this time? I'm really sick of school. But I don't want to graduate and be lacking in desirable skills. I wouldn't get a job then, and there'd be no point in graduating.

OK, I'm babbling.

What do you think?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Screaming O

Yes, that's me you just heard. Did the earth move for you, too?

Let me tell you about today:

It is my birthday. I'm the age Eric was when we got married. I'm almost as heavy as he was the day we got married.

I had to work. It was my last day. My big story might run Sunday, but they've had something more timely come up and mine might get held for space. They asked me to work tomorrow and next week, too. I am busy. But I'll be back in the fall. Maybe. Probably.

I had to write a 10-page paper comparing Joan Didion, James Agee, and AJ Liebling (five pages) and John Hersey and William Langewiesche (five pages). This type of writing is not my favorite. In fact, it is my least favorite and it is one thing that kept me out of an English degree when I was younger. I just couldn't stand it. Yuck. But...


What a way to spend your birthday! Writing a stupid fucking paper! I didn't even get to have a birthday cake. I didn't get any presents. Why not? BECAUSE I HAD TO WRITE A STUPID FUCKING PAPER!

My party is tomorrow and you're all invited. Bring Doritos.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


A long time ago, when Kayleigh was little, I subscribed to parenting magazines. I thought they were interesting if not necessarily informative. It was fun to read about other people going through the same confusion, delight, frustration and awesome love that I was. There were horror stories of sick children and psycho nannies. There were inspiring stories of moms keeping their heads above their hormones and dads overcoming their dread of pink frills.

But there was one story that I've always remembered. It was a story about your child's lasts. Parents are so focused on their kids' first tooth or first step or first word. But there are lasts, and usually they slip away without anyone ever knowing, until one day you realize your daughter no longer needs you to accompany her to the bathroom; she no longer holds your ear as she's falling asleep.

Today was a last. It was a little last, but a last. Kayleigh, whose feet are now bigger than mine, had her last choir concert. She didn't sign up for it next year, and I know she won't go back to it. It was a good concert. These kids are getting so big. The boys have deep voices and muscles, the girls wear make-up and tight shirts. Kayleigh always stands on the end because she's tall. We sat right in front of her to see her last choir concert.

It doesn't make me sad, but it does make me remember.

Elizabeth Berg wrote that story about lasts in Parents Magazine when Kayleigh was a little girl. How right she was. But how lucky for Kayleigh and me that we could complete a circle of lasts with a first. Last night, I introduced Kayleigh to Elizabeth Berg, who was in town promoting her new book. Kayleigh told her that her book was funny. I told Elizabeth that Kayleigh was a pretty good writer herself. The best-selling author, the first Kayleigh's met, smiled and encouraged her.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Word of the Day

The word for May 13 is farticles

The particles of air contaminated after someone or something lets out gas.

Example: You contaminated my air with your farticles!

Thanks to Arizona's leading fartologist for passing this juicy news along.

Monday, May 05, 2008

My window is open again

Someone either just fell into the lagoon or caught a really big fish. He's hootin' and hollerin' and laughin' like Bill Clinton watching a Jeff Foxworthy special without interruption from commercials or Hillary.

"Oh, my god! Oh, my fucking god! Whooooo! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah!"


And again.

And yet again.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

For my 200th post...

...nothing special. Well, special because I stole it from RC.

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. (Not sure about that one.) You enjoy thinking more than talking. (True)

You don't spend much time thinking about your place in the world. (Not even remotely true.) You are who you are - and people can just deal with that! (Words to live by. I'm no chameleon. WYSIWYG)

Your gift is having a way with words. (My dream is having a way with words.) You know how to express yourself well. (Particularly when I'm angry.)

You are inspired by challenges. If something is hard to accomplish, you want to do it. (This was more true when I was younger. I'm getting lazy and complacent.)

You are happy as long as you are given some personal space. It's important for you to have your own private life. (Not easy when I was the proverbial stay-at-home mom. Can we say crazy?)

Thursday, May 01, 2008

It's a major award! But I didn't win

Last night was the adult awards and scholarship recognition. I was nominated but didn't win, but I wanted to go anyway. They said Bucky Badger would be there and they'd have snacks. I'm so easily bought. Bucky was, indeed, there. He scared the hell out of Eric at one point, coming up behind him and putting his big furry paws over his eyes. Eric recovered himself well, but I felt bad for him. The food was fantastic. Dang. I gotta go to more of these university-sponsored events.

So, the people who won have pretty amazing stories. I knew they would. I've had it relatively easy. You know, I'm not a war refugee who just learned English a few years ago. I haven't raised disabled children while living in my car. One guy, who didn't win either, was so overcome he couldn't even speak when he got his certificate. He started to cry instead. God. I didn't know what to say when I got mine, so I thanked my professors and my family and when I started to babble, cut it off. I was told I looked "relaxed." Must have been that pineapple that was starting to turn.

There were some people there I knew. I was happy to see one of them, surprised to see another, and disheartened to see yet another – of all the arrogant, self-satisfied dicks on campus, he definitely wins the asshole award.

But enough about him.

It was a nice 90 minutes. The alumni association made sure to get all our pictures and releases so they can use us for advertising and fundraising to keep those scholarships and awards coming. The chancellor said he understood it was harder for returning adults to go to this school. We are such a tiny portion of the student body that school services are geared toward traditional students out of necessity. Which doesn't make it any easier for us. So, go us.

Eric and Kayleigh talked to the dean and an assistant dean, and he pointed out the story they had read on the front page the previous morning was mine. Heh. He's always drumming for me. He also told them Kayleigh was looking at UW-Stout for college. They both said how much they liked Stout, so I think that made her feel good.

Anyway, I better get some work done. Darn.