Kayleigh is growing up. Yes, you see it in the lovely lady lumps on her chest. You see it in the pimply bumps on her forehead. You smell it when she neglects to use deodorant. You hear it in her laughter at "French & Saunders" and "Honey Nut Shetbags."
And tonight you could hear it coming from her mouth. We were playing one of those BrainQuest trivia/knowledge games before bed. She forgot what an antonym was and said, "I don't know what the hell they're talking about."
What's a parent to do? Especially one as foul as I am? I've not been a pristine role model, cussing up a storm and showing her things like the aforementioned Honey Nut Shetbags.
She immediately started to explain it away. "Everyone around me talks like that, even at school. I hear it all the time." Uh-huh.
I'm watching one kid trot off to the bus herself and listening to the other one invoke the underworld.
Eric shouted from the living room, "Dollar!"
You see, every time Kayleigh catches me swearing, I owe her a dollar. It's been an incentive to turn my potty mouth 10,000 Flushes blue tablet clean.
I laughed, of course, which is not the best reaction--or the worst. Although laughter might be seen as acceptance, no teen wants her parents laughing at her. I asked her what we should do. She said she'd give me a dollar. Hmm....
I told Kelsey to go brush her teeth and Kayleigh to go take a shower and wash her mouth out while she was in there. Kayleigh changed the subject. She's been avoiding us ever since.
P.S. If you haven't seen Kelly's "Shoes," the video about her Hollywood meeting (the one I called "Honey Nut Shetbags") will be meaningless to you. They're weird. The more you watch Shoes, the funnier it gets, until it's not funny anymore.