Saturday, September 22, 2007

On Being ... Worried and Wishful

I've been watching this cool video series the Washington Post has on their Web site. It's called OnBeing. It's ordinary people talking about their lives. The pieces are neatly edited and the results are pretty amazing. Check it out. A couple have made me cry, but that's pretty easy these days.

I can't believe I've only been in school three weeks and I've already had a meltdown. I just remember last year when I was working so hard and my family was suffering so much. I'm afraid of reliving last year. Despite assurances from my husband, I can't help but worry. It was quite a smack.

I hate telling my kids "not now." And I'm mad that I'm stuck in my bedroom studying when it's so absolutely perfect outside. And I hate it that I have so much to do that I feel guilty if I do anything else, even though I know I need to do something else.

I want to wander through a corn maze with my kids and my man. I want to walk around Devil's Lake. I want to help my mom with her yard work and rub her sore, swollen feet. I want to make an apple pie. I want to go horseback riding.

And, hell, as long as I'm wishing, I'd like to be 30 pounds lighter and have thicker, curlier hair and a straighter face and more smiles and more patience and a clean house with no invisible holes that invite mice every fall (Gah!) and loads of money in the bank so I could travel all over Europe next summer, my last summer of freedom.

Oh, well. If wishes were horses, I'd probably get trampled in a stampede.

7 comments:

The Rotten Correspondent said...

you have an award over at my place...

Amy said...

Hey! Thanks for the Awesome Dude Award! What a cool addition to my awards and ego. I'm not used to being the awesome one. Thanks!

Eric said...

Trust me, Amy is THE Awesome one.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Don't wish. Just be.

Crystal xx

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I pray for patience and organization in my house...maybe next week. I have meltdowns every now and then...it's okay, it means you're expressing yourself. Hang in there.

Amy said...

Oh, Crystal, I've tried for years to just be. I'm not good at it. I think I have the personality that constantly looks forward. No matter how much I'd like to just be. Cuz I would.

SOTJ, I agree. I melt down more often than I used to. It's a great reminder for all of us that I'm not as--

Just burned the eggs. I'm not kidding. That'll teach me to check my blog while I'm trying to make a sort-of dinner.

AmyK said...

I'm experimenting. Pardon me.